I promised I’d try to run a teaser excerpt that shows Axyl’s alleged softer side. In the scene just previous to this he and the ugliest girl in the world have sex in the backseat of a stolen Lincoln Continental. Despite how ugly she is, it goes just fine until Axyl has a pretty sickening thought: is she really willing? She’s his prisoner and less than half his size. Maybe she thought saying no wouldn’t do her any good. This unpleasant realization produces a rare twinge of guilt for Axyl and a rarer emotional outburst. Or as he puts it: So I was that pathetic loser, who cries when he shoots his wad. I buried my face in her hair and hoped she wouldn’t notice.
***
We sprawled across the back seat for a while, not talking. I tried to smooth her hair out, thinking I oughta say something, maybe, “Was that okay?” or “Are you okay?” Before I could, she got herself untangled from me and sat up.
“It’s very messy,” she said. “The book didn’t say anything about that, either.”
“Sorry about that. Here.” I got my t-shirt off the rear dash and handed it to her. It was sticky when she passed it back to me, but I pulled it on, cum stain and all, and did up my pants.
“My hair is wet, too.”
“Like you said, it’s messy. So, what book d’you read?”
“Encyclopedia Britannica.”
Holy shit. No wonder sex wasn’t quite how she figured it’d be. To have something to do with my hands, I got my cigarettes out and lit up. Still naked, Shona leaned over the front seat, gave me a good view of her ass in the moonlight. Nice but reflective white.
“I got your pants here and I think your t-shirt’s in the other floorboard,” I said.
“Thank you.” She took the pants from me, but didn’t put them on. Instead, she sat back down, brought something to her face with both hands, and started in nibbling.
“Hey, Squirrel. You got another apple?”
“No. This is the last one, but I’ll share it with you.”
She gave it to me, and I chomped off a big bite–about a third of the apple–before I handed it back to her. It was weird how she could say something without a word. The way she shifted her head, I knew she was giving me a look like, “You greedy bastard.” After a second, she took a grumpy sounding nibble that made me laugh.
“Why did you do that?” she said.
“I figured I better take a big bite, in case that was the only one you give me.”
“You can have another bite.”
She held it out, as trusting as the first time. I leaned over, but didn’t take the apple, just steadied her hand in mine and took a little bite. Her shoulders softened, the way they did when she smiled. Sitting there naked in the back seat of a stolen car with a convicted killer, eating an apple and smiling. Hell, I liked her.
“Maybe your idea is a good one, too,” she said.
“What idea?”
“To take the biggest bite you can. I always try to make it last, in case I cannot eat for a while.”
“You go hungry?” I said, thinking about how skinny she was. Her wanting the other half of my sandwich but not asking for it.
“Sometimes.” She took two big crunches and tossed the apple core outta the car. “You’re hungry, too.”
“I am?”
“That’s why–.” She reached for my hand and cupped it over one of her little tits. “That’s why you want to do that, to nurse on me.”
When I laughed, she let go of my hand, but I kept it there. Rubbed my thumb over her nipple until it got hard. She shivered. Got me to thinking I was good for another go round.
“Sugar, you got it all wrong. I don’t wanna nurse on you.” I pitched my cigarette and went to lay her back on the seat, but she had to keep talking.
“Then why do that? I think because it reminds you of your mother.”
“It ain’t nothing to do with my mother. I do it ’cause it turns me on. Besides, I got news for you. All men like to do that. Not just me.”
“But your mother–.”
“You need to shut up about that.” I said it in my serious voice, but she didn’t take the warning.
“You’re angry, but it wasn’t her fault that she never came back.”
“Shut the fuck up, you crazy little bitch. Don’t you talk about my mother like you know anything about her.” I grabbed her chin, turned her toward me, but I couldn’t see her face in the dark and I didn’t know why I wanted to.
“I know–.”
After I popped her on the mouth, she didn’t say what she knew.
***
Hmmm…so that didn’t turn out so nice. Oh well. That’s Axyl for you.
I don’t care. I love Axyl.
I love the apple bit. How you describe their emotions by the way they bite the apple.
Great stuff.
I am SO HOOKED. 😀
This is such a nice moment: not only because we get to see a little more of Axyl, but because we get to see how comfortable he is with not being a nice guy: he’s not fighting it even a little bit, and I love that.
I’m still snickering at the comment at the end. Very fitting and you can get hooked easily on this. Although, I was almost thinking he’d shut her up by kissing her as most men do… 😉
I really want to read this. There’s something about him that you want to like. You know there’s a little boy in there, somewhere.
Excellent!
Mmhmm…I’m thinking a few of you may have a thing for bad boys…
As for him kissing her to shut her up, well, Axyl’s more of a pragmatist than a romantic. 😀
I wouldn’t want to date Axyl, but I sure as hell love reading about him!
I have a thing for *any* boys. Or at least I wish I did.
‘Tis good stuff, missy!
Arbed: I think your “thing” for boys is actually a Tazer, though. Which seems like a good idea.
Holy crap, that is one seriously f*cked up guy. Sure makes for interesting reading. And love the apple thing–very thought-provoking and telling about personalites–great observation!
This is *awesome*. I love Axyl. 😀
Oh, Para, I worry about you.
It’s okay. I love Axyl, too. There’s something so sweet about (most) of his interactions with Schona, juxtaposed with the inevitable violence. But there is something in his character… I think it’s because you expect the violence, but not the gentleness.
Babble, babble. Amazingly well done, as always.
Bryn…..sometimes, I’m not sure about you.
(but I liked the excerpt 😉 )
Gretchen: That’s what sucks Shona in, too. Sure, the violence, the insults, the less-than-consenting and kind of nasty sex–she was prepared for all of that. It was the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that did her in.
Axyl is a fascinating character. It helps to see this deeper side to him.
Effin’ brilliant. I love it.
Oh God, how pitch-perfect. The end reminds me of one of my brothers (adopted) with FAS – one day he found himself locked out of the house, and decided immediately that the only solution was breaking through a basement window. Axyl’s problem-solving skills – how to end the conversation about his mother – seemed very little-boyish to me, very simple, for all that it wasn’t so nice for Shona. A beautiful piece.
… and I’m glad no one got burned. Beautifully done.
Sarah: that’s the glaringly obvious element you see when you read about or correspond with inmates on death row. Most of them have terrible problem-solving skills. Sometimes because they’re just not very bright, sometimes because they have stunted interpersonal relationships from a lifetime of abuse or neglect, and sometimes because they believe the rules don’t apply to them. And so they make poor decisions and end up where they end up.
Oh, very well done. So much learned about Axyl without him even saying much. Very interesting psychology at work. <– Meant in the best way, says the woman with the Ph.D. in psych and law. 🙂
That’s the challenge that finally won me over to writing this book in first person: forcing Axyl to reveal things about himself that he would never say. Things he maybe doesn’t even realize he’s revealing.
Ooh, I can see I’m going to have to spend some time on your blog, Bryn. Fantastic characterization. You deserve today’s victory. 🙂