For today, something completely different. With Ugly and the Beast out to an agent, I’m looking at one of my projects that stuttered to a halt while I wrote Ugly last year. This is a portion of chapter two of Lie, Lay, Lain, where one of my two main characters is introduced. It’s a bit of an oddity for me, because I don’t usually “introduce” characters. Typically, they just show up in the story and pitch in. So I’m curious if it works and holds readers’ attentions.
***
Olivia was born with a third thumb, which was removed before she entered kindergarten. The scar remained, sickle-shaped, a ghost tucked into the webbing between the forefinger and thumb on her right hand. When she drew her thumb alongside her fingers, the scar disappeared into a fold of skin. For most of her childhood, Olivia had believed the extra thumb was a sign from God that something was wrong with her. If you asked her about it now, if you said, “Do you think it means something that you were born with an extra thumb?” she would laugh and say, “That’s silly. It’s just an oddity. Like people who have extra canine teeth.”
If you asked, that’s what she would say, but after a few hours, her mind would creep back to the days when her brain was a five-year old turtle in a not fully hardened shell. She would remember not that she had once believed something was wrong with her, but that something was wrong with her.

Mitten
Her mother, Barb, occasionally forgot and called her Mitten, her baby nickname. Standing at the kitchen sink, hurrying through the dishes to get to church on time, Barb sometimes said, “Mitten, did you get your dad’s coffee cup?”
When it happened, Olivia grabbed the mug off the table and forced herself to set it on the kitchen counter, instead of slamming it down. In that instant of restraint, Barb often realized what she had done, and instead of letting it go, which was what Olivia wished for, Barb apologized. In the course of the apology, she invariably used the nickname again.
The name itself didn’t bother Olivia, but the lie surrounding it did. When you have a baby with an extra thumb, it’s not the easiest thing to talk about, but it is easy to cover up. You simply slip a mitten on the offending hand, and when people ask, you say, “She’s a thumb-sucker. The doctor recommended the mitten.” Olivia’s mother told the lie often enough that she seemed to have convinced herself. The first time she accidentally used the nickname in front of one of Olivia’s high school friends, Barb told the lie without a moment’s hesitation: “When she was a baby, she used to suck her thumb, so we made her wear a mitten over it.”
Over them! Olivia wanted to shout. Instead she said nothing, but she worried that her mother was going to hell. Not in a hurtling ball of fire, like a murderer or a rapist, but in a slow, steady slide, like other liars. Her mother lied all the time, and never about anything important. Olivia knew it should not be a big deal, but in her heart, she couldn’t forgive her mother. She wasn’t sure she even believed in forgiveness.
That was why what happened with the paramedic was so painful.
Damn you! Another proper teaser! What happened with the paramedic?!?!?!?!
Beautifully written. I love the ability you have to climb into a character’s head. I definitely think the ‘introduction’ works and I most certainly want to read more.
I love this voice too, almost as much as I love Axyl’s. You’ve got a real gift for getting us into the heads of people irrevocably at odds with the world. It’s riveting.
I enjoy your writing so much. I would happily read your shopping list: I bet you’d work some awesome characterisation in there somewhere.
Held my attention – three thumbs, how could it not? 🙂 You have a knack for these fascinating but weird characters. I’m not a fan of character intros, but I enjoyed this.
Awesome writing. Did you know, according to what my son learned in school–if he remembered right– that having six fingers is a dominant gene?
A little trivia.
Fingers and all toes crossed for you(full/s). You deserve it!
Amy: Hence my curiosity about who writes for “insiders.” I seem only capable of writing for outsiders.
Bran: fascinating. It makes me think of that School House Rock song, the 12s multiplication one about the alien with 12 fingers. I always loved that song, because it shifted my perception of reality–what if 12 was the first double-digit number and 10 and 11 were single digits? Then our “decimal” system would be in 12s.
Gah! What happened with the paramedic? Why do you do this to me?
Fantastic characterization by the way.
Nooooo! A teaser at the end! It’s not fair I tell ya!
Very nice. I like the introduction, it starts the narrative flowing instead of being a stand-alone part of it as is usually the case. (I’m not an English major so excuse my inability to describe your finesse in technical terms.)
This is just…awesome. I think the character introduction works brilliantly. I have to say, I typically don’t read much fiction of the literary variety these days, because with the kids I find I have a short attention span and I’m just too easily distracted. But this totally captured my interest, was vivid, and just really, really cool. I’m way impressed.
Thanks so much for sharing!
Hound: I confess that I never think of my writing as “literary.” I don’t even smoke a pipe or wear a houndstooth blazer with suede elbow patches while I write. 😀
Oh, and I take this “teaser” business seriously. To find out what happened with the paramedic, tune in next week. (Say in TV announcer’s voice.)
Well, it just has that literary “feel” to me for some reason–maybe just because it’s so artfully crafted, I dunno. Whatever you call it, I like. 🙂
But I agree–ix-nay on the pipe and blazers. Too stinky and way too traditional for the creator of Axyl.
Aww, come on…tweed never hurt anyone too bad!
The voice is fantastic! Awesome teaser!
I read a lot of stuff with mixed quality (including my own) and it’s a real thrill to see such beautifully crafted prose. Karma is inevitable, but it works a lot slower than we’d like. Bryn is not going to be our little secret forever, I’m certain of that.
Bryn is going to kick the literary world’s ass one of these days. I’ve no doubt.
Gee, I was just trying to make friends with the literary world. 😀