The thing about the internet and internet communities: instant gratification. If you’re awake at 3 am, unable to sleep and pondering some mystery of life, writing, politics, whatever, you can find someone online who is also interested in pondering these things. The problem arises when your preferred route to instant gratification dries up.
I’m addicted to the Absolute Write forums. Hooked like an ignorant college co-ed who thought she’d try crack just the once. You never realize the depth of your addiction until you can’t get your fix, and Absolute Write has been down for hours, my people. Since yesterday afternoon. I’m having that same twitchy desperate feeling I had after I left Tampa and couldn’t get any Cuban coffee.
You’d think that this would open up possibilities. Former smokers report having dramatically more free time once they stop sucking down their life 8-minutes at a time through a cigarette filter. Except I already had plenty of free time in which I was writing. AW was my reward, my down time, my breathing space. Now I’m just sitting here trying not be too productive, because frankly I am one of those people who works too quickly anyway. I can do most of my job in under 10 hours a week. I can clean the whole house in two hours. Left to my own devices, I will write ten thousand words a day. I tear through things like a spider monkey on trucker speed. The internet has helped me waste enough time to give the appearance that I am a normal person instead of a freak. Without AW, the threat of writing another novel in a week looms over me.
I’ve already tried alternatives. Spent a few restless minutes on Facebook, checking things out, chatting with people, updating my status. It’s like being a coke addict and trying to tide yourself over with baking powder. Facebook.
At least I have a list of chores and errands to do today, so I won’t spend too much time writing and clicking Reload to see if AW is back up.